Beer Bottle Pockets

So recently I was talking to a friend, the epitome of a frugal socialite, who recanted this story of a dinner/socializing strategy gone very wrong. For anonymity sake we will call him..... Le Elephant (LE).

Le Elephant had plans to meet up with a group of Manhattan's social elite for dinner at one of the city's seen and be gawked restaurants. Translation expensive and trendy as a MUTHA FUCKA. LE's plan was to eat for free at a previous event and THEN meet up with the aspiring bourgeois set towards the END of their dinner. After LE had already told them that he was going to be 45 minutes late and to PLEASE be seated without him, The group insisted on waiting for him BEFORE the dining experience began. Not only was the luxuriating halted until LE's arrival, the group consistently called, texted, emailed, couriered, instant messaged, and morse coded LE informing him of their increasing hunger. Le finally gets there, he orders soup (cheapest thing on the menu) and tap water with lime, while everyone else is ordering appetizers, pellegrino, bottles of wine, entrees, AND desserts. After bread had been broken the expensive check finally comes. Someone makes a suggestion that the bill should be evenly divided amongst ALL the guest. Le Elephant's response?...wait....wait for it.....Absolutely not going to be able to do it!

Not Gonna Be Able To Do It - Double X Posse